Well, I Don’t Want Pants To Fall Down

Well, I Don't Want Pants To Fall Down

“The first pair sent to me by a viewer from Montana… full camo!”

I recall a few times while doing meet and greets down in the United States when people would tell me that I remind them of Red Green. I guess… well, maybe a little bit. We’re both from Canada, we’re both half nuts and we both wear suspenders.

I still find it somewhat amusing when people ask me why I wear suspenders. And, I do, pretty much all the time. If wear a sweatshirt that wouldn’t be tucked in to my pants, I would have a pair of suspenders under them. If I wear a shirt that is tucked in (like the pre-requisite and ultra-rugged plaid shirt,) I would wear the suspenders over the shirt, of course. But, when did this all start? To be honest, I didn’t start it. A viewer of my previous show, “Officially Rugged with RD,” did.

We received a package in the mail from a guy in Montana. In it, were two things: one, a note telling me that I would be “way more rugged” if I wore a pair of suspenders to go along with the plaid shirt that I often wore on the show. And, two: a pair of suspenders in full camo. I still have them.

So, that was the start. I put them on and thought they were very comfortable. I sent the guy back a hand written letter (What? An actual hand written letter? OMFG… the shock!) thanking him for the gift. I made sure to tell him, “You’re damn right, I’ll be wearing them on the show from now on!” What started out as a simple on-air shtick became something else. Wearing suspenders is pretty goddam comfortable!

Well, I Don't Want Pants To Fall Down 2

“My standard-issue ‘Blackies’… and a couple pan size specks, of course!”

Since then, I’ve received something like 50 – 75 pairs of suspenders from viewers from Canada and the USA. Some people would have them customized to say, “Rugged Dude,” or, “Officially Rugged” on them. The ones you see on my website (black suspenders with the red and yellow letters) were given to me by a woman in Kentucky back in 2008. When I did the show with Bobby Flay on the Food Network back in 2010, I brought them with me thinking I’d wear them on the show. In a quick meeting with the director (Lauren Thompson) before we started shooting, I asked her if I “could” wear them, she said, “Oh my God, dude, you HAVE to wear them!” So, I did.

Suspenders (braces, as some people call them) are just plain rugged. I can wear my pants a little more “softly” with the belt fastened to the “third notch” as opposed to the second. And, guess what? It makes things run a little more smoothly when I fart! Something about “less expansion room” required. And, there’s always plenty of breathing room for the onions this way too… nothing worse or weirder than wearing tight pants!

Now, for some controversy. Maybe you can give me your opinions on this. I’ve heard some people say that a “real rugged man” doesn’t wear suspenders and a belt at the same time. It’s either one or the other… I’ve most often heard this from people who live in Wyoming. Maybe they consider themselves to be experts on suspender etiquette. I wear a belt all the time, mainly because if I snap the clips to the pants, they sometimes let go. Not enough to grab on to, I guess. If I attach them to the belt, they get a better grip and hang on better. Either way, suspenders are rugged! And, I dare say, that suspenders are not just rugged, they’re also cool. The Edge, guitar player in U2 wore them on the Joshua Tree tour back in ’87… so there!

Well, I Don't Want Pants To Fall Down

“My ‘Rugged Dudes!'”

I remember once a few years ago when I was living in the Thunder Bay, Ontario area. I was in a hardware store and this smokin’ hot (an actual CERTIFIED and REGISTERED power babe scoring an honest 9.9784) woman walked by me and she was wearing jeans, a plaid shirt and … suspenders! I almost asked her to marry me on the spot! Then, I realized she was about 23 or 24… (Keep walking, RD… She’s way too young for you… Keep your mouth shut… don’t be an idiot!)

One final note and this is a very important one. Remember, if you’re taking a shit in the woods MAKE SURE YOU HOLD THE SUSPENDERS OUT OF THE GODDAM WAY! Otherwise, you just might smell something a little “shitty” as you walk away…

Having your own shit on your suspenders – unrugged!

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