Rugged or Unrugged

Rugged or Unrugged

People sometimes ask me what my idea of “rugged” is all about.  Well, that’s easy… to me, rugged means anything to do with huntin’ (rugged for ‘hunting’), fishin’ (same), chest waders, power tools, muddy trucks, camo, (but not that stupid pink and black crap that chicks wear at the mall), archery gear, a good campfire, torn jeans, chainsaws, duck blinds, Labrador retrievers and dirty coveralls…

Or, simply put, my definition of “rugged” is the polar opposite of stupid crap like ballet, “spiffy” shoes, fine dining, wearing a suit and tie, driving around in a fancy little sports car, (where the hell are you gonna put your deer?) a little white dog named “Muffin” who has a pink ribbon in its hair, fancy power boats, lawn bowling, ”peach” coloured pants, especially if they have a crease…

Anything that is rugged is an example of – RUGGEDTIVITYIZATIONALIZM!  That’s a lot of syllables… but you get it, right?  And, that’s a real word by the way, at least in my world it is!

A guy I know in Chicago told me that he and his certified unrugged wife got into a “little debate” (argument more like it) over whether their Ford Explorer was rugged or unrugged.  He had been lobbying for a “real pick up truck” for some time and she was convinced that their vehicle could serve as both a family vehicle and a truck for his fishing and hunting excursions.  And, the fight was on…

His first reason for classifying their SUV as unrugged was that many unrugged people own an SUV of one type or another and never use them for any legit rugged activities.  “They’re yuppy mobiles!”  Then, she would argue that “since it is a four-wheel drive after all” that makes it rugged.   He would challenge her again, “Ya, but it has leather seats!”  And, of course, she would battle back.  “I know but there is a little tear in your seat and that makes it rugged.”

My verdict?  The only way a goddam SUV could ever qualify as being rugged, or in this case, “Rugged Certified,” is if it was all banged up, scratched, filthy with plenty of mud on the seats and floor matts, had a cracked windshield, permanent stains of deer blood in the back cargo area and it would have to have a wicked set of “mudders” instead of those standard all season sissy tires that they come with.  And, even then… I do believe the jury is still out.

Send in your list of rugged and unrugged stuff.  There should be five ”ruggeds” and five “unruggeds” in your list.  We’ll post it on this page and we’ll see what other rugged people think.  Now turn off your stupid computer and go outside and shoot a rabbit or something!

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Rugged & Unrugged – Sent in by Thomas Cook from Arkansas

RUGGED

  • Being 77 and shooting more ducks in one season than your son and grandson combined
  • Owning more pairs of suspenders than the Rugged Dude
  • Catching an 8 pound bass while fishing for crappie (on light tackle)
  • Owning a bait and tackle shop that opens every day at 5 am
  • Having more Labrador retrievers than grandchildren

UNRUGGED

  • Cancelling out on an afternoon of fishing with the boys because you don’t feel good
  • Watching the Lion King with the grandchildren and actually being interested (not just pretending)
  • Eating sushi when you could have had fresh whitetail tenderloins (or, eating sushi ever)
  • Going to an anti-gun rally dressed like a city slicker
  • Wearing the same kind of shirt that Richie Cunningham (on Happy Days) does

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Rugged & Unrugged – Sent in by Jessica Franks from Alberta

RUGGED

  • Your favourite snack is venison jerky
  • Meeting the Rugged Dude in a Tim Horton’s while on vacation in Ontario
  • Going duck hunting 17 days in a row (true, me and my husband)
  • Owning more Mossy Oak camo clothing than regular clothes (and wearing them to work)
  • Never buying eggs from the store – having your own chicken coop

UNRUGGED

  • Buying Martha Stewart frying pans and pots
  • Flying all the way to Toronto to see Phantom of the Opera (ex husband – dumb ass)
  • Listening to the Bee Gees in your truck
  • Ordering wine that you can’t pronounce in a fancy restaurant you can’t afford
  • Taking more than five minutes to get ready in the morning (especially putting on make up and doing your hair)

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Rugged & Unrugged – Sent in by Marcia ***** from Ontario

RUGGED

  • Treating your car as if it were a truck
  • Driving around with that deer on the hood of your car (Ooops, not all rugged people own trucks)
  • Fishing in the rain… sure beats washing the kitchen floor
  • Sitting around a campfire, moose blood still on your clothes while cooking over the fire
  • Not caring what people think when you still smell like the fish you just cleaned

UNRUGGED

  • Dressed “to the nines” with no place to go
  • Using hand sanitizer every time you touch something
  • Going dancing instead of hunting or fishing
  • Being prim and proper no matter where you are or what you’re doing
  • Taking more stuff with you camping than most people have in their homes (ie: TV, Dish, DVD player, Microwave, etc)

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Rugged & Unrugged – Sent in by Ron Wilson from Iowa

RUGGED

  • Pulling your kid out of school a week early because the bass are biting
  • Pulling out a Buck Knife to cut your steak at Outback’s Steak House
  • Staying in your tree stand for 12 hours straight in 10 below weather
  • Talking your wife into a fly in fishing trip rather than renovating the bathroom
  • Wearing full camo to your weekly Monday morning sales meeting

UNRUGGED

  • Even knowing someone who likes lawn bowling
  • Bringing an electric blanket to deer camp
  • Driving a “Smart Car” because it’s good on gas
  • Watching a girly movie with the wife
  • Going to a sushi restaurant for lunch with some “antis” from the office

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Rugged & Unrugged – Sent in by Carlie Milford, from Alberta

RUGGED

  • Shooting a bigger buck than your husband on opening day
  • Looking through the Cabela’s catelogue instead of Victoria Secret
  • Fishing in a pounding rain  the whole day (without complaining)
  • Getting out of bed before your husband on the opening day of duck season (he always sleeps in)
  • Going bird hunting instead of going to your sister’s bridal shower (true story)

UNRUGGED

  • Getting a new dog but it’s a fluffy little one
  • Not going hunting because you’re afraid you might see a snake
  • Sitting around the house and watching Oprah all day instead of catching a few fish for dinner
  • Taking the kids to the mall when you could have gone fishing instead
  • Living in a high rise fancy building with PETA people for neighbors

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Rugged & Unrugged – Sent in by Calvin Herrmann from Wisconsin

RUGGED

  • Killing two deer in one day with the same arrow and broadhead
  • Owning more chainsaws than everyone on your street combined
  • Always carrying an axe and a buck saw in your truck because you never know what roads you’ll end up on
  • Hitting a bear with a long stick because he was too close to your cabin
  • Not crapping your pants after hitting a bear with a long stick because he was too close to your cabin

UNRUGGED

  • Wearing dress shoes for any reason whatsoever
  • Taking crochet lessons with your wife
  • At a buffet you pick only salads instead of ribs, fried chicken and fish
  • Not going fishing because it’s “a little too windy.”
  • Living in a gated community with all the tree huggers and anti-hunter

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Rugged & Unrugged – Sent in by Byron Langston from Colorado

RUGGED

  • Stalking the same elk for 9 hours and finally shooting him with your bow
  • Killing a huge rattlesnake with your coffee thermos
  • Letting your ten year old son shoot the big buck you’ve been waiting all day for
  • Spending more money each month on hunting gear than you spend on your mortgage and your truck payments combined
    (and not getting divorced)
  • Listening to Johnny Cash in your truck on the way to your tree stand

UNRUGGED

  • Worrying about work when opening day is only three days away
  • Cancelling a hunting trip because your wife says she’ll miss you
  • Waiting in line to see a play on broadway
  • Eating veggie burgers instead of moose burgers
  • Not going down a rough road because you might scratch your truck