Hol-yyyy shit!  I’m not sure if there is anything that pisses me off more than seeing a pile of garbage strewn about at a local fishing hole, boat launch or parking spot close to a local trout stream.  What the hell is the matter with people?

Each spring, the fishing season gets rolling.  If I was to hop in my truck and go for a quick ride to the local boat launch a few weeks before then, I’d probably see a few items of garbage and that my friends is non-sense!  The real problem is if I was to go check out that same boat launch a few days after the opener, there’d be enough garbage to fill five full sized Glad bags!  And, it’s not just empty pop cans and candy bar wrappers either.  It’s empty beer cans, empty cigarette packages, fishing lure packages, styrofoam worm containers, old fishing line strung all through the bushes, a few fish carcasses after the fillets have been removed, empty minnow bags, Tim Horton’s coffee cups, old shitty diapers, tampons (used, of course), ass wipe, McDonald’s bags… on and on and friggin’ on!  Only inconsiderate pigs would even think about leaving any garbage behind.

Whenever I drive the backroads and highways of Nova Scotia, I am SHOCKED at how many Tim Horton’s cups I see… they are everywhere.  And, it’s not just this way in Nova Scotia.  To be clear on where I stand, this is not Tim’s fault.  They make a product that people buy.  They don’t throw the shit out the window of their cars or trucks.  Lazy pigs do.

I’ve been goose hunting in Texas a few times and I was in shock at just how much garbage there was lying in the ditches.  Every ditch… it was common practice for people to throw their crap out the window and what surprised me the most is that people didn’t seem to care.  It was like they had all just given up thinking, “Oh, well, that’s just the way it is around here.  No-one else cares, so why should I?”  Well, that’s the about worst attitude one could have.

One of the things I love about being a frost-bitten Canadian boy is that we have an incredible natural resource and seemingly, unending wilderness that is still, for the most part, pollution-free.  In the vast majority of our lakes and rivers, if you catch a fish, you can eat it.  If you shoot a grouse or rabbit, you can eat it.  Canadians typically don’t throw their garbage all over the place.  At least normal people don’t.   When I was a little kid of about 6 or 7, I was tagging along with my grandfather once while he was partridge hunting.  After I unwrapped a piece of gum, I crumpled up the wrapper and threw it on the ground.  Well, I quickly found out that that was a mistake!  After a good old fashioned tongue lashing from “Grampa,” he promptly made me find it (not an easy task since we were in some thick grass and scrub brush) and put it in my pocket.   Then, he asked me if rabbits, squirrels and partridge throw their garbage on the floor of my bedroom.  That was the last time I ever threw any trash in the bush, or anywhere else for that matter.

Every time I go to one of the local fishing or hunting spots, I always bring along a couple of garbage bags and in no time, they’re full.  The sad part is that even after the place is cleaned up, morons who have zero respect for our natural resources (and how incredibly lucky we are to have such a natural wonder) will start the pile up again.  It starts with just a pop can… then a chip bag.  Then, it’s wide open for anyone else to throw their shit on the ground and leave it.  They’ll gladly take their limit of trout or bass home with them, but all the shit they don’t want?  “Ah, just throw it on the ground!”  Nice.

If I was charge, I’d hire cops, actually, no not cops… I’d hire big-ass goons (the kind of dudes who just like beating the hell out of people, almost like it’s a hobby) to hide in the bushes where garbage is often left behind.  When someone throws their crap out the window of their truck or drops it at the riverside, “the boys” would jump out of the bushes and kick the living shit out of them and rub their noses in the garbage… just like when a dog drops a deuce on the floor.  Rub their goddam noses in it.

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