Inconsiderate Smokers

Inconsiderate Smokers

Okay, I just do not get it.  Why do people smoke in the first place?  Let me see now… I want to make sure I understand this whole thing.  (RD rolls his eyes and prepares to write a few very sarcastic sentences.) First, in order to live, we need our lungs.  Am I right so far?  They are the things that allow us to breathe.  (If we can’t breathe, we die.)  Right again?  So, why in the name of burning hell would anyone purposely put actual smoke in their lungs?  When you sit around a campfire and the smoke is blowing in your face, you move, don’t you?  So, you can… um, oh, I don’t know… breathe?  Jesus Christ!

But, you have a choice, even a right to purposely damage your lungs and almost certainly shorten your life by a couple of decades or more.  And, you don’t mind spending $12 a pack either, do you?  That’s apparently what they cost in most of Canada these days.  And, you don’t mind smelling like an ash tray… along with your clothes, hair, home, car and what about your disgusting, rotten dog-shit breath?  Hey, knock yourself out… just don’t smoke near me!

I can honestly say I’ve never tried smoking.  Not even a single “drag man.”  Yes, I got somewhat affected by peer pressure in high school.  Who didn’t?  But, the smoking peer pressure thing didn’t affect me at all.  I had friends who were smokers, but that did not temp me.  When I was a kid growing up in the sixties and seventies it seemed that everyone was a smoker.  My parents, aunts and uncles all smoked.  So did my grandparents.  My hockey coach would smoke in the dressing room and while behind the bench.  Then, he’d blow smoke in our goddam faces as we got off the ice.  My boxing trainer would stand there at the ringside, smoking, while I was sparring with some guy.  Teachers were allowed to smoke in the staff room.

I remember in the ninth grade my French class went on a field trip.  Our teacher, the bus driver and most of the students were smoking on the school bus the whole way.  You could smoke on a Greyhound bus or on an airplane back then.  And, in the mall or the movie theatre… basically, if you were a smoker, you could light up almost anywhere.  There was no such thing as a “no smoking section” in a restaurant either.  That came some time later.  By the way, having a no smoking section in a restaurant is like having a no pissing section in a swimming pool.  Am I wrong?

I remember as a little kid going to the doctor’s office for a check-up and seeing the receptionist smoking at her desk.  I also remember on the way to the doctor’s office, sitting in the car with all the windows rolled up, my parents smoking.  When I would roll the window down a little so I could actually breathe, I’d hear, “Roll up that goddam window!  Jesus Christ, it’s cold out there!”  Non-smokers had no rights, especially kids.

Another reason why I hated smoking as a kid is because I used to play drums in various bands and started playing in clubs and bars at the age of 13.  So, here I am, just a kid, playing in bands with guys who were always at least 20 and sometimes as old as 40, in bars where the smoke was so thick you could cut it with a chainsaw.   I just hated it.  But, there was no such ridiculous thing as a smoke-free bar in those days.  Are you kidding?

Things sure have changed since those days.  Today, smokers are heavily restricted as to where they can puff and blow away their plumes of stinky, bluish grey smoke.  But, if you are going to smoke, could you please at least try to be considerate of those who do not?  Like me, for example!

I used to live outside of Thunder Bay, Ontario and at the hospital smoking is not permitted anywhere on the hospital property.  But every single time I go there, I see a half dozen people standing right in front of the main doors, puffing away and coughing their lungs out.  There are clearly marked signs right there at the door indicating that smoking is not permitted.

Another good one is at the Thunder Bay Airport.  Again, there are signs at the front doors saying no smoking, heavy duty fines… blah, blah, blah.  I was there a few weeks ago and there were two – get this – security guards smoking, standing three feet from a sign that read “No Smoking. Security guards… and I just couldn’t help myself.  I walked over right beside these block-heads, then looked at the sign and read it very slowly and phonetically, sounding it out, like I was teaching a five year old kid how to read.  “Noooo… sm… oooook…ingggggg….”  Security guards?  Really?

I have never heard of anyone actually receiving a ticket and having to pay the fine that is so prominently displayed on the “No Smoking” signs.  Is there anyone to enforce these laws?  Not that I know of.

There are about 5 million cigarette butts on the ground in front of the main entrance to Wal Mart.  And, the Superstore and Safeway and the movie theatre and Home Depot and Canadian Tire and, and, and.  Stop throwing your filthy garbage all over the place!

Just because you may be outside, it doesn’t mean that your second-hand smoke isn’t affecting someone else’s health and well-being.  Here’s proof… If I can smell it, it means it’s going into my lungs.  And, I really hate that!

I always say, “If you smoke in my house, I will piss in your pool and drop a number 2 on the seat of your car.”

Trust me, I will.  And, it’ll be a big brown coiler with corn in it.

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  1. Little Bit says:

    You are right. Unfortunately most smokers were introduced to smoking while in school. What they didn’t know at that time was that nicotine is even more addictive than heroin. If it were possible to expire from an overdose of smoking more than a pack of cigarettes a dayy, I am sure most kids would have gotten the message sooner. But…..

    In defense of smokers such as myself, I started smoking at ten years of age. I am now 77 and have absolutely no desire to quit. It is the only pleasure I have left in my life. My kids are grown, and what little income I have, other than the necessities like food, rent, etc., it is the only product that I buy for myself alone.

    I am aware of second hand smoke. So I limit my smoking to areas where it will not be inhaled by others. I do my dangest to obey all the new smoking laws and rules. Here, you can no long smoke at outside sporting events. If you want to smoke you have to leave the facility and go to an area where there is no foot traffic. So you now see folks standing just off the curb exposed to traffic. Just keep an eye open incase someone wants to pull into that parking spot in a hurry. And hold on to your ticket stub so you can get back in.

    When I go to the hospital for an appointment, I make it a point to go to a corner that is out of the way of foot traffic and no sign. And the nice thing is that it is right around the corner from the door I need to go in. Unfortunately for me, others have discovered this little corner. But most folks who are in wheelchairs or have great difficulty walking, smoke. And I can’t fault them. They are in more medical trouble than myself.

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