Mind Your Own Business!

Mind Your Own Business!

Have you ever notice that there’s an awful lot of arguing in the world?  There have been many, many wars too.  World War II killed more than 60 million people.  Hitler and his gang of thugs murdered more than 10 million Jews, homosexuals and people with physical and mental issues.  He murdered them because he didn’t like them.  That’s not a very good reason.

People can be very convicted in their beliefs, much of it passed down from their parents, especially about such topics like politics, religion, race, gun control, hunting, gay marriage, or whether or not they believe that abortion is murder.  In this free and democratic society, we are entitled to our opinions and beliefs – provided we don’t hurt anybody.  But, don’t you think it would be so nice if everyone, while still convicted in their beliefs, would let all of the other people believe and think whatever the hell they want to?  I do…

In 2010, I sold my house and built a new one, an hour away, way back in the bush, off the grid, a few miles away from the closest house.  There were several reasons why I wanted to sell and build a new house, but the main one is that I really like my privacy.  I like living in the bush where it’s quiet.  I was there for five years before I moved to Nova Scotia where I live now.  And, while I was there, not one single person knocked on my door for the purpose of soliciting.  At my previous place, which was also out in the country, but on more of a “main road,” I would get someone knocking on my door about once a month or so.  And, they didn’t want to just say “Hello.”

I was in a grocery store a few years ago and was approached by someone who looked like he was about ready to hit me over the head with a 10 pound bag of potatoes.  This guy informed me that he had recently seen me shooting “Canadian” geese on my television program and that he thought it was disgusting that I was killing innocent animals on TV for the sake of entertainment and money.   He asked me, “What did they ever do to you to make you want to shoot them in the first place?  And, besides, those geese are protected!”  He then mentioned something about “Canadian” geese being our “national bird” or some kind of stupid shit like that.  Well, I just couldn’t help myself…  “Oh, I dunno… they flew too close to my decoys for one thing.  And, another thing, a bunch of them took a shit on the parking lot over at the Nor-Wester Hotel a few miles from here.”  I guess he didn’t appreciate my smart-ass comments as much as I was impressed with myself by coming up with such a zinger on short notice, completely unrehearsed of course.

Let’s take a closer look at this.  First, not that it’s a big deal, but the geese he was referring to are called, Canada geese not “Canadian” geese.  Just a little thing that gets on my nerves… But, more importantly, Canada geese are not protected.  In the area where I was hunting at the time, near Thunder Bay, Ontario, I can harvest five Canada geese per day.  Would anyone with even a ¼ of a brain think that a guy would go on television and shoot them if it was illegal?  Besides all of that, wouldn’t it be easier for the guy to just mind his own goddamn business?  I didn’t tell him that he shouldn’t eat tofu, nuts, berries and lentils for dinner every day.  I did tell him to go stick his head in the live lobster tank though.  Prick.

One of the most volatile topics is, of course, religion.  People have a right to believe what they want and believe in what they want and I arrived at my conclusions long, long ago.  Back to my house a couple years ago, the one that had “visitors” every now and then, the kind of visitors that I really didn’t want to talk to.  For the first five or six times that someone knocked on my door with the sole purpose of convincing me that their beliefs should also be mine, I would politely tell them that I am an atheist and that I’m really not interested.  And, most times they’d concede and politely leave.  Sometimes, they’d push a little bit, until they saw one of my fists clenching… then they’d leave.

Just before the closing date on the sale of my house, once again, a couple of nicely dressed (they’re always so nicely dressed, aren’t they?) men pulled into my yard and got out of their… ahem… mini-van, carrying bibles.  It was a nice sunny day and I had some time to kill before I had to leave.  I thought to myself, “Hmmmm, this might be kind of fun, maybe even entertaining.”  (Rather childish of me I admit, but still – fun as hell!)  So, after offering them a seat on the front deck, I engaged in the conversation.  It was actually a friendly little debate about how the earth began, the Ten Commandments, whether or not it is possible for someone to walk on water without actually falling in the water, sex abuse within the Catholic Church, on and on.   All the regular church bullshit.  Holy smokes, I even brought out some lemonade and wait for it… cookies!

And, it went on… for about thirty minutes or so.  I was having a blast, to be honest… in part because I knew I was moving in a week or so and I’d never have to deal with these clowns again.  My main point was not who was right or who was wrong.  I asked them straight up if they’d ever had an atheist or even an agnostic knock on the door at their house.  They said, “No, we haven’t.”  Then, I asked them if they’d ever seen a billboard sign along the side of the highway telling us that God is all a bunch of nonsense and that we shouldn’t be believers.  Again they answered, “No, we haven’t.”  They knew exactly what I was about to say.  “So, if atheists are not normally going around telling the world that we shouldn’t believe, why are you people constantly going around telling the world that we should?”  (Atheists certainly do advertise their beliefs, but I rarely hear about it compared to how often I hear about believers pushing their message.  But, I don’t get atheists knocking on my door every couple months or so, or ever, for that matter.)  They didn’t have an answer and I could tell they felt rather stumped by the guy with the plaid shirt and suspenders.

Two significant things came from this friendly little debate.  One, I found out that one of the two guys was actually at my door about a year before.  Obviously, I didn’t remember him.  I said, “You were?  And, what did I tell you one year ago?”  He said, “Well, you told me you were an atheist.”  So, even though I told the guy I was an atheist, he just had to come back and take another shot at me.  Asshole.  The second interesting note, during our friendly little debate, I made the point that if there was never any such thing as religion, there would almost have never, ever, been any wars in the history of the planet.  To my utter shock, sheepishly, both men agreed… more or less.  Then, they said their goodbyes, hopped into their incredibly unrugged mini-van and drove away.  On to the next house.

This whole gay marriage debate is really driving me nuts too.  If two dudes want to get married… you know, as in, to each other… why in the hell is it anyone’s business but their own?  If two guys or two women get married, how could that possibly affect me?  It’s not like I have to share my bed with them.  Why the hell would I care?  It’s none of my goddam business.

If a black dude wants to marry a white chick or if a Cree woman wants to marry some guy from Japan, whose business is it besides their own?  Certainly, not mine.  Not yours either.

If I choose to go hunting and eat the animals I kill, why is that anyone’s business except for my own?  It isn’t.  I don’t tell people that they should eat meat or that they should go hunting, it’s none of my business.  Now, if I were to go hunting illegally, poaching in other words, that becomes their business doesn’t it?  It sure does, but luckily for me I don’t break any fish or game laws.

So, I’ll end with this – if, as a society, we ever expect to even sort of get along, we all must learn to mind our own goddamn business!

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